dx.doi.org/10.15198/seeci.2017.44.15-31
RESEARCH
FRIENDSHIP AS A KEY TO COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIP
LA AMISTAD ELEMENTO CLAVE DE LA COMUNICACIÓN Y DE LA RELACIÓN
A AMIZADE ELEMENTO CHAVE DA COMUNICAÇÃO E DA RELAÇÃO
Gloria Gallego Jiménez1
Salvador Vidal Raméntol
1International University of La Rioja. Spain
gloria.gallego@unir.net
Universitat Internacional de Cataluña. Spain
svidal@uic.es
1Gloria Gallego Jiménez. Doctor in Education at the International University of La Rioja. Currently a teacher of Personalized Education, General Didactics in the Secondary Master's Degree. Professor and Director of End-of-Grade Jobs.
gloria.gallego@unir.net
Recibido: 30/03/2017
Aceptado: 15/05/2017
Publicado: 11/11/2017
ASBTRACT
The friendship that takes place at school involves some kind of linkage that may be the result of a long process. This interaction allows students to gradually develop two important facts of their personality. The student begins to recognize his role within a group. He realizes what he can contribute something to the group and receive from the group. In fact, he begins to accept the rules of the game and perceives the anger of his peers when he fails to comply with them. Through his class group, the student learns he is a social being. In this tutorial, the student will gradually recognize that other fellows are stronger, smarter, more influential, or he will be aware that he is a leader. Friendship and virtue have such a close and intimate relationship that, in order to achieve one, one cannot miss the other: a virtuous person reaches a good friendship and vice versa.
KEY WORDS: Friendship, virtue, value, love, goodness.
RESUMEN
La amistad se forja en el colegio implica algún tipo de vinculación que puede ser el resultado de un proceso largo. Esta interacción permite al estudiante ir desarrollando dos facetas importantes de su personalidad. Aprende a reconocer su papel dentro de un grupo. Se da cuenta de que puede aportar al grupo y recibir de él. Empieza a aceptar las reglas del juego y percibe el enfado de sus compañeros cuando no las cumple. A través del grupo de clase aprende que es un ser social. En este aprendizaje irá reconociendo que otros chicos son más fuertes, más listos, más influyentes, o será consciente de que es líder. La amistad y la virtud, tienen una relación tan estrecha e íntima que, para lograr una, no se puede perder la otra: una persona virtuosa alcanza una buena amistad y al revés.
PALABRAS CLAVE: Amistad, valor, virtud, amor, bien
RESUME
A amizade que se forja no colégio implica algum tipo de vinculação que pode ser o resultado de um largo processo. Esta interação permite ao estudante ir desenvolvendo duas facetas importantes de sua personalidade. Aprender a reconhecer seu papel dentro de um grupo. Se dar conta que pode aportar ao grupo e também receber. Começa a aceitar as regras do jogo e reconhece o enfado de seus companheiros quando não as cumpre. Através do grupo de classe aprende que é um ser social. Nesta aprendizagem irá reconhecendo que outros jovens são mais fortes, mais inteligentes, ou será consciente de que é um líder. A amizade e a virtude têm uma relação tão estreita e intima que, para conseguir uma, não pode perder a outra: uma pessoa virtuosa alcança uma boa amizade ou ao contrario.
PALAVRAS CHAVE: Amizade, Valor, Virtude, Amor , Bem
How to cite this article
Gallego Jiménez, G.; Vidal Raméntol. S. (2017). La amistad elemento clave de la comunicación y de la relación [Friendship as a key to communication and relationship] Revista de Comunicación de la SEECI, nº 44, 15-31. doi: http://dx.doi.org/10.15198/seeci.2017.44.15-31
Recuperado de http://www.seeci.net/revista/index.php/seeci/article/view/475
1. INTRODUCTION
Anyone can experience the value of friendship. For most humans, having friends plays an important role to play in their life. At the moment, the possibility of relation of the human being has been strengthened. Abundant media, such as the Internet, advertising, propaganda, news, television programs and series, etc. expand the information and relationship capacity of many people.
Young people, compared to people in other stages of life, are often lively and passionate. They have a great ability to seek and receive information, to adapt to new developments and they have a great desire to increase their knowledge more and more. All this causes that, in the face of so many changes in the circumstances of coexistence, relationship and information, they have indiscriminately received the criteria of the current society at a time when they were still vulnerable to many influences and were not sufficiently trained in criteria and good habits.
If adolescents are well oriented and directed towards true friendship: goodness, they will be able to contribute and to make contributions to this society because they are usually full of illusion and energy. Friendship takes on special value because it is intimately related to the inner world of the person, ethics and communication. (Díaz del Campo Lozano, 2013, p. 4)
In addition, as people are the essential elements with which society is built, friendship is also an essential part of it. It influences each one, both in the personal relationship and in the social environment. For these reasons, to know the characteristics of true friendship is one of the priority objectives that are intended to be achieved with this article of reflection.
2. OBJECTIVES
The primary objective is to analyze how friendship is a key element for communication and habit forming. For this, there are five basic aspects that we want to show in this article of reflection:
1. Human weakness as a possible cause of friendship.
2. Friendship as a desirable good.
3. Linkage between friendship and virtue.
4. Conditions for friendship.
5. True friendship is oriented to happiness.
We could have focused on other different objectives but it has been necessary to carry out an internalization of the concept of friendship as a source of all nexus of union among the classmates and in any human relationship.
3. METHODOLOGY
The methodology of this article is basically a reflexive study and an objective analysis of the classic studies that exist on friendship.
3.1. “Human weakness as a possible cause of friendship”
We want to start by mentioning Socrates. For the Greek nobles, having many friends, instead of being an eulogy or a symbol of prestige, was a sign of human defect. People, due to their imperfection, are always lacking in something and are incomplete, unfinished, not self-sufficient, or good in the absolute sense.
The presence of evil or natural weakness that is found in human beings could be an efficient cause of the origin of a friendship, because, as man is imperfect, he always needs the support of other people.
Although it is good to recognize and accept the reality of human deficiency, the need to complete what is lacking is not sufficient cause to generate a friendship because friendship caused by a mere necessity seeks usefulness and, when the satisfaction of one’s own need is obtained, that relationship is abandoned, because it is no longer necessary or useful. Such a friendly relationship melts easily and remains on a lower plane as regards its value, since friendship cannot be reduced to usefulness. This is a very current danger that must be fought because, without realizing, one falls into pragmatism, utilitarianism and individualism.
“Fruit of the tendency to individualization in the use of screens, spaces and times of consumption have been transformed. The place is no longer shared with other people and time is no longer simultaneous with the broadcast. The recording or downloading of content allows the on-demand choice of the space-time context” (Marta Lazo and Gabelas Barroso, 2013, p.16) This is one of the important factors that must be taken into account today as technology has harmed those human relationships that facilitate friendship and communication with others.
3.2. “Friendship as a desirable good”
Aristotle mentions in his Ethics to Nicomachus how men are social and family animals, made to associate with their natural relatives. However, the human nature has something that differentiates it from mere natural affection, which is not found in animals and which is a distinguishing feature of man: benevolence.
Friends, somehow, are linked to each other like other similar beings and belong to the same natural kinship, that is why they desire one another. The desire we have for something is for what we lack, either because it has been taken away, or because it had not been possessed before. And that desire is the first principle of the nature of friendship.
It should not be forgotten that the human nature needs this communication in order to befriend. “When we refer to human communication, we have to assume that there can be no communication that is visceral (emotional) on the one hand, and cerebral (rational) on the other hand. To a greater or lesser degree, communication inevitably has both dimensions” (Arís Redó, 2010, p. 80)
The fact that friendship is desirable by itself, as a greater good, involves mentioning four aspects:
1. The desire for goodness belongs to human nature
2. Men desire friendship
3. Friendship has qualities that make it a good.
4. Friendship is the greatest good
According to the classics, in the aspiration to goodness, on the part of the human being, it is convenient to mention the origin of love - since friendship is a subject closely related to this one. Love, which is neither rich nor poor, neither beautiful nor ugly, neither wise nor ignorant, is in the middle between one and the other and, because the person is lacking in part of the good, the beautiful and the wise, he feel desire and need for them and seeks to possess them. The human nature, being imperfect, wants what it lacks and perceives as good.
The second idea argues that men want friendship. The poor, often because of the need for assistance (it is known that this is only an efficient cause, since having friends is not a necessary and indispensable condition for survival). As for the rich and generous men, they also want to have it. They desire it, even though they possess all goods and do not lack in anything. Without friends, no one would want to live, even if he had all other goods; even those who possess wealth, authority, or power seem to need friends above all.
As for the third proposal, he argues that friendship has qualities that make it a good, it is not difficult to realize that men desire friendship in a way similar to how they desire goodness. Goodness is characterized by being good in itself and because its existence is not changing or varying, nor does it depend on anything else to be good, but it is something beautiful, kind and desirable. Men do not want friendship just because it is necessary, but fundamentally beautiful. Humans who are able to cultivate such friendship receive as a result a series of kind and good characteristics, proper to goodness in itself.
Finally, it should be noted that having friends is defined as a greater good than any external good. The person who is suffering from illness or injustice prefers the company of friends more than money, the admiration of the people or the honor he had in his past tense.
3.3. “Linkage between friendship and virtue”
Friendship is related to virtue: “Friendship is a virtue or something accompanied by virtue” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1155a2); or “and without virtue there can be no friendship at all” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1237a17). A virtuous person is good, beautiful, and attracts others. Virtue is the one that moves, calls to approach the person who has it and moves it to love that person with good will.
The nature of man desires goodness and, in order to attain it, it needs the virtues. A true friendship offers the best opportunity for friends to help each other in the cultivation of virtues and to grow together in them. Virtues, in turn, maintain friendship: they make it strong, stable and perpetual.
Friendship and virtue have such a close and intimate relationship that, to achieve one, one cannot lose the other: a virtuous person reaches a good friendship and vice versa. Virtue, in addition to maintaining friendships, has a conciliatory function. In dealing with this characteristic of virtue over friendship, Aristotle defines “virtue” as “the character of a good man” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1236b34-36). This philosopher develops this idea by reflecting on two questions: “Do we want what is good for oneself or what is absolutely good? Is the activity of loving accompanied by pleasure, so that even what is worthy of affection is pleasant or not? “(Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1236b34-36). To these questions, Aristotle answers that a thing that is good in itself is always kind, both for oneself and for all.
A true and stable friendship requires to be based on virtue, and virtue needs friendship to be realized. Its exercise is only possible with the others and friends are the most appropriate people to exercise it. The coexistence offered by friendship requires an environment of mutual treatment, dialogue and accompaniment among friends from whom one can get experiences of life, share intimacy and cultivate the virtues together. In coexistence with good friends, virtues can be acquired in a natural way, “it is natural that justice grows along with friendship” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1165b). In it, one can go to meet the virtues because, in order to grow in virtues, friends are the best and the most appropriate means.
A good friend, when he sees that the other is no longer as he was or has an obvious alteration in his way of being, should not, due to feeling disappointed, move away from him or angrily reproach him his change. Although the friend does not advance in the development of the virtues, the intimacy shared in the past must always be remembered.
However, once such a situation becomes serious and unalterable, there must be a breakdown of friendship: “if friends no longer have the same tastes, nor are they happy or sorry for the same things, it is difficult to continue the friendship and, in addition, it does not make sense either to maintain such friendship. Aristotle insists on the idea that, if the friend becomes a negative and irreparable influence, this friendship should be dispensed with, for “the wicked are not kind, nor should they be loved” (Cicero, friendship)
The best help for friends’ defects is to correct them with advice. The virtuous person, when seeing that his friend acquires vices, always tries to help him to recover the good habits. Correction is proper to true friendship. However, in spite of goodwill and love of truth, it is possible that the good ones become annoyances for the other, while “flattery, praises and servility” (Cicero) may seem much more accommodating and satisfactory. The truth is sometimes annoying but the vain and false complacencies are even more harmful. While truth dominates in friendship, flattery is its greatest evil, since this is not only a manifestation against justice, to hide the truth (pretending) and saying what is not (lying), but which, in practicing it, becomes the polar opposite of many virtues such as honesty, sincerity, loyalty, fidelity and justice.
The truly virtuous person differs from that who only pretends it in that “he loves himself, because he knows himself perfectly and understands how worthy he is of love” (Cicero, friendship, p.99), he does not do good for winning praises for himself. The latter is, as Aristotle indicates, “to desire honor not by itself, but by accident” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1159-16).
Virtuous friends seek each other to perform noble actions, since in regard to love for themselves, they act well as if they “rivaled in nobility and endeavored to perform the noblest actions” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 1162b 7-8). On the other hand, as for the love between them, they earnestly desire to treat each other well (for this is characteristic of virtue and friendship). Consequently, friends arisen by virtue do not envy each other, but rather try to encourage each other. Virtuous friendship helps one to discover each other’s defects, to accept one’s limitations, to cultivate good habits, to live virtues, and to reciprocally guide oneself toward goodness. For friends to correct this, it is important to have good emotional competence. “Human beings are the union of the cognitive, the affective, the social, the cultural, etc. In this sense, psychological well-being, and especially that of adolescents, influences their quality of life, influencing their social relations in a positive or negative sense” (Suberviola Ovejas, 2011, p. 4)
3.4. “Conditions for friendship”.
Aristotle studies the similarity between the ways in which man relates to himself and the ways in which man relates to friends. He points out that the friendship towards others comes from the affection that the human being has to himself. To understand this statement, he highlights the following points:
3.4.1. Friendship with oneself
Classical thinking often compares the good friend to “a mirror.” These expressions reflect that the friends, besides being the nearest neighbors, are the people who offer more opportunities to contemplate oneself.
The good man is able to contemplate himself in his friend, since he sees in him a good. Good friends are closely similar among them by nature, as if they were, according to Aristotle, “a kind of second self.” Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus Ethics, 1245a31). A good friend, being “a second self”, equally “desires” to be so. Man, in a natural way, loves himself. This expression may seem selfish. Before stating this, it is necessary to investigate what are the goods that these men who love themselves try to obtain and how they pursue them.
In society, self-love can be identified from an altruistic or selfish perspective. There is a great difference in the ways in which this “love for oneself” is presented: virtuous men love themselves, while the non-virtuous ones are lovers of themselves. The way of loving oneself acquires two different forms: the former focuses on what man pursues with love of himself and the latter, how man manifests such love in the relationship with his friends.
The non-virtuous man is characterized by the inability of reason to dominate the irrational part of his intellect; he acts moved by his desires, seeking the goods that can satisfy his passions: riches, fame, body delight.
Most men enjoy these goods -useful, profitable, and good in a relative sense-; but the non-virtuous men crave to possess them, as if they were the best and only goods in the world. In addition to neglecting the goods that are really necessary for their intelligence, they are not inwardly reassured due to the disputes within them.
Intelligence governs the good man, the virtuous one lives according to reason. According to Aristotelian thinking, to the good man, reason is the highest and principal part of the virtuous man, he prefers to do what his intellect commands, and the intellect chooses, in each case, the best. This way, he always seeks what is noble or honest and what is morally beautiful for himself.
3.4.2. Beneficence
If, by nature, man loves himself, he desires good for himself, seeks and strives for it, despite the many efforts that may be required. In his relationship with friends, a similar phenomenon can be seen. The virtuous man, in treating his friend, also wants the best for them and intends to meet them, not for his own interest, but for the good of his friend. This unconditional search for the good of the other is what can be called beneficence, the first of the conditions of friendship.
Love for the friend is reflected in doing good. Friendship between friends may seem to be the relation of a benefactor to his favored one, since the man “renders” service to his friend without seeking anything in return, and the other “receives” this voluntary service; the benefactor loves his favored one as if he were his work. The friend is a good thing in itself. The virtuous man does everything possible to improve it. Striving to do good to the friend implies an essential element, which is love.
3.4.3. Benevolence
Benevolence is another characteristic that is noticed in the friendship with oneself as with the others. As for the relation with oneself, man loves his own being, since by nature he wants to exist, to preserve himself and to have a long and happy life. The good man treats his own existence as good in himself and loves it so much that he always prefers to be what he is than becoming another or having everything.
To want one’s own existence is, by nature, the basic desire of man. This will, which is the benevolence one has toward oneself, is also felt towards his friend: he wants the existence of his friend, not for his own interest, but for how good it is to exist.
Benevolence is the principle of friendship, although it is not yet friendship properly speaking. It exists as long as one, because of the love he has for the other, wants the continued and happy existence of this other, as it happens in maternal affection. However, according to Aristotle, not all those who have benevolence to be so love more, since this feeling can also arise between people unknown or known without physical treatment. As this philosopher describes, the people who maintained a friendship and now are no longer friends, because of the benevolence they feel toward the other, still wish it to exist.
Benevolence, although not qualified as friendship, is close to it, since it requires it as an initial condition to sustain itself. Benevolence, when prolonged and reaching familiarity, becomes friendship.
3.4.4. Concord
Good friends are similar in virtues. They, possessing an integrated union, do not usually disagree with themselves. They not only remain the same, but also between themselves. “Their wills remain fixed in good and do not fluctuate from one to another” (Thomas Aquinas, Commentary on Aristotle’s Ethics to Nicomachus, 516). By having similar qualities among them, the goods that are desired and chosen by each are very similar.
But choosing the same things as a result of having both good qualities does not yet explain the relationship of concord with respect to friendship, since the fact of making the same choices or having similar opinions can also occur to people who are not friends. Concord between the friends entails the act of the wills on both sides leading to the same end.
The good man, by his very nature, always chooses his own existence, noble actions and things that are beneficial to him. He seeks such goods, is passionate about getting them and feels happy with them. The search for goods and the choice of the virtuous actions of a good man for himself, in a sense, are turning towards happiness, an end desired by the human being in a natural way. The same thing happens with friends. The good man wants to be happy and he wishes the same for his friend. He chooses for himself what is good and necessary for happiness, likewise, he also looks for what is good for a friend in order for him to be happy. This concord is due to the voluntary desire for the same end.
As for concord with regard to affectivity, the good person always agrees with himself and does not easily repent of what he has done. He does not act by the passions of the sensitive part, he controls the passion. By behaving according to reason, the good man does not have an opposite disposition against himself due to the unity and stability in his whole person.
A true friend is always available to the other, in both the fortunate and the difficult situations. He wants to share the same feelings or, if that is not possible, he tries to identify with them. However, to stay in the same feeling - pain or suffering - is not appropriate enough behavior. You can always try something else. Sometimes what you do for a friend, sometimes, you would not do for yourself.
3.4.5 Coexistence
It is the distinguishing feature to find out the existence of a true friendship and the fundamental requirement for friendship to grow and be cultivated. Coexistence is desired by man both in his relationship with himself and in his relationship with his friends; they enjoy the moments in which they are with their good friends; they want the company of them and enjoy, with their presence, in any situation.
Three qualities of coexistence can be specified:
a. It contains two basic elements to maintain friendship: treatment and time.
b. It allows friends to acquire experiences and possible evidence to examine the existence of a true friendship.
c. It strengthens reciprocal love and deepens mutual intimacy.
The first idea - treatment and time - are two elements of coexistence to exercise friendship. Two different situations can be seen: one refers to people who intend to be friends to each other but are not yet friends; and the other refers to those who are already friends.
With respect to the case of well-known friends, one can remain being the friend of the other in spite of his physical absence. However, if lack of treatment is in the long term, such a relationship can dissolve, as friendship seems to be forgotten. For this reason, both in the first case - benevolence must be communicable - and in the second - the maintenance of friendship requires the habit of contacting. Mutual, continuous and frequent treatment is an essential condition for increasing affection in friendship.
As for time, it is a fundamental requirement to consolidate a friendship. Man, at first, may have a false image or impression of a person’s goodness. In addition, “the desire for friendship arises quickly” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus 1157b25-33) but to check the “validity” of such a desire, it is necessary to discover and confirm it over time.
On the other hand, those who are already friends also require time to cultivate their friendship. One wants good for his friend and seeks it. And for this, it is necessary to know the character and the actions of the other and that is only achieved by dedicating time to it through which, through many tests, a trust between friends is established, grows and the stability of their mutual love is guaranteed, making friendship more solid. To gain mutual trust, friends have to share experiences. The coexistence maintained in time is not only necessary for its function of proving and strengthening the friendship and for the enjoyment of the mutual company, but it is an indispensable condition, because it provides the opportunity for the friends to grow together in virtues.
A current fact that can facilitate this coexistence is the acceptance of the philosophy of globalization. “In fact, human beings who have no future or hope in life have often opted to resort to the assault of the developed countries, but without renouncing their peoples, their authorities, their religious beliefs, their customs or their culture “ (Díez Medrano, 2010, p. 7-8)
3.5. True friendship is oriented to happiness
In the study of friendship there are two essential requirements that are presented as the “ways” through which happiness is achieved: besides the activities of life in common among friends, there is the exercise of virtues. For friendship to be related to the happiness of man, the exercise of virtue is necessary. Happiness is not a good given to man since the beginning of life, but, according to Aristotle, “it is something that occurs”; it is an activity that consists of living and acting. From the above statement, two essential ideas are deduced: life is a good and it is an activity. It is a good, since the characteristic of goodness is that it is desirable, good and pleasant in itself. For this reason man, by his nature, desires his own existence and desires it because it is in itself good and agreeable. When considering happiness, it is easy to ask also how many goods are required for a happy life or what kind of goods lead man towards it. The goods have pleasant and satisfying characteristics, but not all goods have, as their own function, to please the life of any man, only some of them have qualities necessary for human happiness.
It may seem that happiness requires the condition of good fortune, however, it should not be identified, because, if fortune is excessive, it can become an obstacle to happiness and then it is not fair to call it “good fortune”, because its limit Is determined by its relationship to happiness. Men who are happy with little, or who do not value honor or admirable things, are “those who are totally devoted to good life. And everyone agrees that life is nothing without friendship; at least if they want to live with a certain tone of free men.” Friendship is shown as a good.
The friend, insofar as he is good, is a good both for himself and for the other. The joy of the perception of oneself after the friend not only has the consequence of helping to discover his good in the other but, at the same time, contemplates the good of his friend.
In reason of the good friend, one is content not only attaining the most complete knowledge of himself, but also perceiving how pleasant and good are the way of being and the actions of the other. The kindly characters and the virtuous works of the friend, on the one hand, are good, grateful and desirable. On the other hand, it can please man, when the good friend presents himself as a model or reference of virtue. “A happy man will need such friends, if it is true that he wants to contemplate good actions and make them his own, and such are the actions of a friend who is good” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus 1169b33-1170a1).
“The happy life will be the one who acts according to virtue” (Aristotle, Ethics to Nicomachus, 118b35). By relating friendship to happiness, it is concluded that, in order to be happy, the human being needs to act well with his friends exercising the virtues during the coexistence.
There are two fundamental requirements for achieving happiness in friendship: the common life among friends and the exercise of virtues together. With regard to the first condition, the common life among friends, it has been mentioned that happiness is a certain activity, this implies acting; nevertheless, because of the nature of man -he is a social being- it is difficult for one to be active with himself, but in the company of others and in relation to others, it is much easier. On the other hand, man also has the desire to share some life circumstances with his friends and enjoy their company.
In the friendship between men, there are communication of opinions, exchange of thoughts, and intimate dialogue that need the use of words and the use of reason, and they are an enrichment for the human soul.
The happiness of man has been dealt with from his own nature of social being and by the effect of the satisfaction of his life and his soul. However, man can also feel happy doing activities together with his friend. He has someone with whom to perform virtuous deeds, and the actions of the good man are in themselves agreeable; that is to say, happiness is achieved among friends through the implementation of virtues.
In establishing the connection of happiness with virtue, one must remember the idea that, by practicing the virtues with friends, one can achieve goodness and happiness. This implies deepening the importance of virtue for happiness and considering friendship as a necessary condition for exercising oneself in virtues.
The function of virtue is happiness, this is the way of being that enables us to put into practice the best actions and “that disposes us the best possible to do the greater good, the best and the most perfect one being the one that agrees with right reason”. The man who wants to be happy all his life “always or preferably will do and contemplate what is according to virtue, and endure the vicissitudes of life as nobly as possible and with moderation in every circumstance.”
Regarding the need for friendship in the exercise of the virtues “it is proper to the good man and the virtue to make services”, the person needs friends whom to favor. Moreover, since virtuous activities have pleasurable characteristics as good, the virtuous man prefers to perform good deeds. On the other hand, among friends, one can contemplate the good of the other and learn the good he can get from it. And since happiness involves activities, friends, in carrying out the virtuous works together, can help one another to achieve happiness.
Consequently: happiness, friendship and virtue are related to each other, “the happy man will need virtuous friends”.
4. RESULTS
The results obtained in this article are neither empirical nor quantitative because none of these methodologies have been applied. However, it can be affirmed by the classic studies that, in the beginning, children contribute to the school values ??and principles resulting from the guiding role of the family and the social environment in which they develop their life. Gradually, moral education is “personalized in the measure in which the socialization process advances and the evolutionary and psychological changes are presented” (Kon, I, 1990, p. 47). The formation of the school is added too. The contemporaries, from their natural closeness given the proximity of age, constitute mirrors and signs in the construction of reality. It is affirmed that, during childhood, one obtains varied apprenticeships through this influence (Palacios, J, Marchesi, A. and Coll, C, 2002, pp. 239-140).
In addition, the same group of friends in the classroom constructs informal moral rules, which enable the formation of important moral qualities such as honesty, solidarity, loyalty, respect and responsibility. The ways of stimulating these qualities are realized through the expression of the intimacy reflected in the exchange of private information and through mutual manifestations of affection that characterize the affective reciprocity between the friends.
Honesty involves acting in accordance with the values ??of truth and justice. It is consistent with what you think and feel. It affects the behavior of the subject himself and his relationship with others.
Solidarity is to work for the welfare and the interests of the fellow man without doing so based on the principle of compensation. It is a relationship between human beings, which implies the virtue of justice, it is based on the equality of individuals and leads people to take responsibility for the burdens of the other.
Loyalty accepts the links implicit in its adherence to others in such a way that it reinforces and protects, over time, the values ??it represents. It is related to the virtue of prudence since it involves a selection of permanent values, basic attitude for a world in which transient values seem to prevail.
Respect acts or stops acting, trying not to harm or stop benefiting oneself or the others, according to their rights, their status and their circumstances. It requires prudence and justice.
Responsibility assumes the consequences of intentional acts as derived from decisions made or accepted.
It also highlights the importance of the teacher who is more often who teaches from the perception of the child, through the teaching, educational process planned by the school. Although the child lives in school much of the day, his parents and the rest of the family continue to interact at home.
5. DISCUSSION
Friends radically influence the person and it should be added that the factor of age in friendship is an important component to take into account. As the years go by, friends who are in the same group with interests and hobbies in common change, and there is a tendency to start looking for more intimate friends, people whom you can trust and who can tell you their problems. The group is still important, but the young man begins to tell colleagues from friends. Friendship serves as a possibility to vent his feelings.
When the youngster wants to become independent of his parents, he tries to meet other people he can call “friends”, although they remain partners with common interests, who meet to study, go on a trip, etc. As he matures, he will select these relationships, distinguishing between the relationship of relaxation and that involving personal commitment. It is not common for a person to have many friends. It is logical that you know enough people to share some aspects of your life and establish a relationship with them.
One of the great challenges of today’s education is really to see how some of the activities of the tutorial action could be aimed at achieving good friendships seeking the integral formation of the student as specified in the Curriculum of Compulsory Secondary Education.
Programs and methods are currently being implemented that work the social relations between groups but not so much friendship. If more focused programs were achieved in friendship, unity of thought, feeling and will would be achieved. Therefore, it is logical that, in the time of tutoring, in the class group, different activities are carried out for this purpose.
Friendship in class is based on the struggle of both to become better in the development of human virtues. The good friend demands the other to understand him, to give him an example, to provide him with what he needs -neither more nor less- and to find time for him.
Nowadays, little time is dedicated to friends since social networks are negatively influencing this field. Moreover, in Lacalle’s words (2012, p. 112) “the skill of adolescents and young people in the use of new technologies promotes their growing involvement with the Internet and results in a more personalized consumption that allows the user to build their own a la carte grill”. (Marta Lazo and Gabelas Barroso, 2013, p. 16). The happiness of the person is in the development of the virtues and they are achieved through the relationship with others. One of the main factors where the human being grows in virtues is through friendship.
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AUTHORS
Gloria Gallego Jiménez
Dr in Education from the International University of La Rioja. Professor of Education at the International University of La Rioja.
http://orcid.org/0000-0003-4498-8869
Salvador Vidal Raméntol
Dr. in Philosophy and Education Sciences. UB.Vice-dean of the International Universitat de Catalunya.UIC. Barcelona. Assistant Professor. SGR Research Group, SIRSU (University Social Responsibility and Sustainability)
http://orcid.org/0000-0002-2355-0668